With the British Open just next week in Scotland, the short game is in transition, because everybody knows that those tricky, baked-out links courses require some imagination to navigate. So this week, CBSSports.com senior writer Steve Elling is flipping the weekly up & Down chart, listing the worst first and saving the best for last.

Not in my neighborhood, pal Presumably, this guy doesn’t live on your street, because he darned sure doesn’t reside on mine. last week, PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem waxed about the infusion of successful young players who have taken the tour en masse. Wins by under-30 players like Justin Rose, bill Haas, Dustin Johnson, Rory McIlroy, Jason Day, Hunter Mahan and Anthony Kim have indicated that there might be life after Tiger after all. Finchem had a decidedly odd take on the profusion of youth, however, that underscored just how embarrassingly out of touch he is with real-life issues. “I often tell the story of the doctor that lives down the street from me that, when his kid was 12, about seven years ago, he had a swing coach, he had a trainer, and he would go to Orlando once a month to visit with a sports psychologist on how to win,” Finchem said. “You know, you see that repeated all over the country.” Yeah? that must be why there was such a hue and cry for nationalized health care, because so many parents didn’t want to use their personal psychologists on something as lame as sports coaching. the real reason why youth has taken over? Tiger Woods, Vijay Singh and Phil Mickelson have one tournament win between them in 2010. over recent years, they have annually accounted for between 10-12 wins combined. We would not be having this discussion otherwise.

What rhymes with Eldrick? the site of the two-day Irish charity tournament was County Limerick. Why not bust a rhyme, given that Tiger Woods shot a horrific 79 in the first round of the J.P. McManus pro-am on Monday to continue a frequently dreadful stretch of golf (winless in six PGA Tour starts this year, his longest drought to open a season since 2004)? There once was a guy named Woods; as a golfer he had all the goods; then his personal life got harry; his wife wanted to unmarry; and now his game’s filled with woulds, coulds and shoulds. while the pro-am outing was obviously unofficial, this was his second 79 in just over two months. He followed with a 69 on Tuesday, then flew home to practice in Orlando after issuing a few terse comments to the Irish media. By the way, conjure up your own joke here, but McManus is the millionaire who co-owns Sandy Lane, the mega-high-end Caribbean golf resort where Woods got married to soon-to-be ex-wife Elin. Ah, the salad days.

He sees progress, others see regress Woods said he was pleased with how he hit the ball last week in Philly, but facts are, he was a forgettable T46, the first time he finished outside the top 40 in five years. He was 14 shots behind winner Justin Rose, the most he has finished off the lead after 72 holes since 2006. He’s 0-6 this year, his worst start to open a season since 2004, when he was 0-8 and working on a swing overhaul. In each of the previous five years, he had never gone longer than five starts without winning. Woods didn’t break 70 all week in Philly, marking the first time in 11 years that he didn’t better par over four rounds in a regular tour event. eleven of his 21 official rounds have been at par or higher and he isn’t in the tour top 40 in putting, fairways or greens in regulation. Of course, Woods again pointed out that he’s behind schedule because he hasn’t played in as many tournaments this year, which, he keeps neglecting to mention, was his own personal choice.

All that said, would you wager a few pounds on this man? Millions tuned in to the broadcast of the AT&T National on the weekend to catch a glimpse of Tiger Woods, and that’s about all they got. He was hopelessly out of contention, was basically finished as the leaders began play and while he was apparently well-received by fans who had not witnessed a PGA Tour event in decades, he was the talk of the town for other reasons. the porn star (fast aside: why are all porn actors called “stars?”) who claims Woods fathered her 9-year-old son was making the rounds on Philly sport-talk outlets and dishing more dirt and innuendo about her affair with the world No. 1, including the fact that Paul Azinger introduced the two of them. Maybe this is why one of my old college roommates, who now lives in suburban Philly, jokingly calls it Filthadelphia. Woods is going to be a huge favorite at St. Andrews next week, but the only way I would bet a few quid on the guy is by betting against him. This is last of the three major sites this year where Woods was thought to have an advantage based on previous performances, but there are too many holes in his game right now.

Three chords and a clanging rimshot With a mobile home, four ex-wives and no steady day job, it’s no small wonder that John Daly is singing country-flavored tunes these days. Because he apparently has plenty of time on his hands since he lost his PGA Tour card, Daly has recorded a second music CD, again convincing some real musicians to help lend some credibility, if not actual talent, to the affair. his first effort is available for a listen for free, with vocal backing by Darius Rucker, a golf fanatic who mined gold with his former band in a 1994 release that went mega-platinum. In fact, maybe these guys could join up and, with a tip of the cap to Daly’s rock-and-roll lifestyle, never-ending weight issues and fade into irrelevance, call the band Bloatie and the Whofish. Or, perhaps, the Lap Band?

Irish identity crisis This is going to sound like the splitting of hairs to most geographically clueless Americans, but Graeme McDowell’s victory at the U.S. Open has touched off another round of nationalism overseas. Technically, as a native of Northern Ireland, McDowell is a British subject and falls under the rule of the Queen. Like countryman Rory McIlroy, he carries a U.K. passport. but the Irish as a whole are a proud and independent lot, which prompted one prominent Republic of Ireland paper to opine, “describing any golfer from this island as British is politically and semantically incorrect.” well, philosophically, anyway. one headline about McDowell described him as, “Mum’s a Catholic, Dad’s a Protestant, I was brought up Presbyterian but … I’m Irish,” sort of summarizing the no-win complexities of the situation. said McDowell, coyly, about the ebb and flow of religion and politics in the region: “Yes, I sit on the fence but why not? There’s no right or wrong answer. I’m always going to upset someone, so why not sit on the fence?” the Republic of Ireland, by the way, is not part of the U.K. We Yanks lead the league in labeling folks, but it’s hard not to giggle about the British identity crisis, especially since the folks overseas get a little chafed when we call the third major the British Open.

Welcome to Penn station It’s an odd confluence, like where those three famous rivers converge in downtown Pittsburgh, but the Keystone State has become the center of the golfing universe for the first time ever. last week, the City of Brotherly love suburbs hosted a PGA Tour event for the first time in years, with Tiger Woods in the field for good measure. even though he never contended, fans turned out by the tens of thousands to hoot and holler, prompting the local media to agitate for a permanent tour stop. This week, on the other side of the state, the U.S. Women’s Open will be staged outside Pittsburgh at the hardest golf course on the planet, Oakmont Country Club, where I expect the carnage levels to be incredible. Oakmont, during regular member play, is reputed to be tougher than most PGA Tour venues and members actually complained that the course was too easy when it hosted a men’s Open in 2007. Masochists, grab your remote controls. Johnny Miller will hardly be able to contain himself. Hopefully, he won’t try real hard.

The British aren’t coming — they’re already here With panoramic July 4 weekend shots of the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall, it was downright comical that an Englishman won the title at the AT&T National on Sunday, prompting analyst and newly minted U.S. citizen David Feherty to crack on the air that he didn’t think it was quite appropriate for a “redcoat” to win, given the circumstances. the laughs are on us, fellow Yanks, and we better get used to it, apparently, because the English have taken hold of the PGA Tour like King George was running the show. Surging Justin Rose, 29, has two wins in a month, marking the first time an Englishman has won twice in the States since 1988. Ian Poulter and Lee Westwood won earlier this year, giving the English four titles already. Incredibly, four of the top 16 players in the world are English, marking the nation’s highest tide since somewhere around the World War I era, before the game became popular here in the Colonies. To think that the English went four years between PGA Tour wins from 1998-2002, and the skid ended only when Luke Donald was handed a title at the Southern Farm Bureau Classic when the final round was canceled and he didn’t have to hit a shot under duress. well, they are earning ‘em now, aren’t they? In quadruplicate. if not for Phil Mickelson’s stellar play in Augusta that Sunday, Westwood would have won the Masters, too.

Rose is now a bouquet the statistics, as a rule, speak for themselves. according to golfstats.com, Rose was 0-5 with the 54-hole lead on the PGA Tour before winning at Aronomink, which included gagging up a three-shot overnight lead one week earlier at the Travelers Championship. Bluntly said, before Rose stormed from behind with a near-flawless final round to win the Memorial Tournament one month ago, his closing stretches frequently required stretchers. Too many times, Rose hit balls where the aphids reside and blew chances on the back nine. This time, he eagled the ninth hole with the best shot of the week and hung on despite a couple of shaky three-jack greens. As he heads to the British Open in Scotland next week, Rose will be a comprehensively solid pick in the ubiquitous U.K. betting parlors. As it stands, Ladbrokes has him posted as the seventh-best pick at 25-to-1, which sounds like a way better deal than Woods at 7-to-2, doesn’t it? Rose finished second at the Dunhill Links Championship at St. Andrews in 2007. Sunday marked the seventh time in his past nine rounds that Rose ended the day atop the leaderboard.

Viva Espana Maybe there’s hope for sputtering 30-year-old Sergio Garcia yet, because unlike Ponce de Leon, Miguel Angel Jimenez has found the fountain of youth. the Spanish veteran last weekend won for the second time in a playoff this year on the European Tour, claiming the French Open and posing with the trophy with his customary flaming stogie. Jimenez has more natural flair and savoir faire than a hundred contrived American players who seem to keep forgetting that style and substance cannot be invented overnight as a marketing tool. Unlike Garcia to date, Jimenez is getting better with age at 46. A tour-record 10 of the 17 European titles won by Jimenez have come since he turned 40 and he’s now the eighth-oldest champion in E-Tour history. As is his custom, the freckle-faced, ponytailed Spaniard doubtlessly celebrated in high style, with a glass or two of pricey French vino. which is almost as good as pricey Spanish vino. As for the Yanks, which rhymes with spanks, all three missed the cut in France, which probably doesn’t bode well for the Scottish Open this week at Loch Lomond, which is swimming in America players.

Clip and save There’s a fine line between unbridled optimism and optometric blindness. somewhere in between is where Finchem seemingly resides. Making a pit stop last week in Philly to trumpet the AT&T National event and schmooze with the media, Finchem indicated that he doesn’t envision any contraction from the 2010 schedule going forward, even though stops in Hilton Head, Palm Springs, Miami and Memphis still need title sponsors or have already been propped up by tour dollars or a hodge-podge of smaller sponsors. So, on the chance that there’s a Hilton Header or things become Bob Hope-less, here’s what he said, verbatim: “With regards to Doral and Hilton Head, we have conversations going on right now, and we feel good about where we’re headed. I think the market is soft generally, but for our product it continues to perform well, and we don’t anticipate any need for contraction.”

Up & Down: Flip the script, praise the Brits

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